so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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