well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
