similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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