The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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