they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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