Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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