I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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