perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
