Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
