This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
