i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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