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• (757): View more from Virginia

  If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?

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• (235): View more from

  if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?

  (366): View more from

  except your soul

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.

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• (646): View more from New York

  What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it

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• (858): View more from California

  who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex

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