Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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