she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
