my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.