Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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