Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize