I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So much rum. So many feels.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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