I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
