i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
