Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
