i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
