that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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