He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
