i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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