She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
