So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
