Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
