Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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