Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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