She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize