This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
