dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
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She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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