I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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