well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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