Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
