So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Can you bring me the toilet please
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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