I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
