I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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