I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
