Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
