she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
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