So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
should my penis look like a turkey
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
