I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
