she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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