you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
