I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
