She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
