O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
