So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
