Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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