Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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