Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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