Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
