I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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