i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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