im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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