he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
