she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
ok first of all what the fuck
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.