I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
