i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
