No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
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this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
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Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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