In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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