do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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